I wrote down the man I wanted to meet. Then he turned up.

Yes, really.

At 50, in the middle of Covid, I found myself single again and absolutely certain of one thing: I never wanted to make the same relationship mistakes again.

Instead of wondering who might come along next, I decided to work out exactly who I actually wanted. I sat down and wrote a four-page Mr Right List. And I mean four pages. I wasn’t messing about this time.

I wrote about his personality, values, family, lifestyle and interests, as well as all those little things that really matter when you are actually building a life with someone. Then I went even further and wrote down when I would meet him, where I would meet him and how it would happen.

Bonkers? Possibly. But on 7 March 2021, at a little market in rural France, I met Colin. He turned out to be around 95% of the man on my list.

So I decided to write a book about it

The Perfect Fit is the story of what I did differently at 50 and what happened next. It is not about finding a perfect man, it’s about finding a man that fits my life today.   It’s about getting really clear about what you want, understanding what actually matters in a relationship and recognising the things you are no longer prepared to settle for.

Because finding love in midlife does not mean lowering your expectations. In my case, I finally raised mine.

Could you find your perfect fit too?

That is really why I am sharing my story.

If you are midlife and single, perhaps you have wondered whether you have missed your chance. Maybe you keep meeting the same type of person in a slightly different pair of trousers, or perhaps you have reached the point where you would genuinely rather stay happily single than get it wrong again.

I understand that, because I had reached a point where I knew something had to change. This time I approached finding love completely differently. I looked at the mistakes I had made, worked out what I actually wanted, sorted out parts of my own life and wrote that rather enormous list.

And somehow, amongst all of that, I met the man I had described.

Follow the journey

While I finish writing The Perfect Fit, I am sharing some of the things I discovered along the way, including ideas from the book that you can start thinking about in your own life.

You will get behind-the-scenes stories, questions and ideas to help you work out what your perfect fit might look like, updates as the book comes together and, of course, you will be among the first to know when it is ready.

There will be no dating lectures, no endless emails and definitely no telling you that you need to lower your standards.

Just my story, what I learnt from getting love very wrong before finally getting it right, and perhaps a little inspiration to start thinking about your own love story.

Jane 🙂